Knowing who you really are
How often do you notice yourself? Not your physical reflection, but in terms of who you are? We spend most of our time perceiving others, and our experiences are often a consequence of our interactions with others…..but imagine if you could spend the day with yourself! What would that be like?! How often do you reflect on who you really are and the impact you have on yourself and others? When are you the best version of yourself, and when are you your our own worst enemy?
How self-aware are you? Self-awareness is the foundation of all emotional and psychological growth. In essence, it’s the ability to introspect and be aware of your own thoughts, feelings, impulses and behaviours. It’s about knowing who you really are and being able to self-manage. It’s a critical first step for creating positive relationships with others, as well as the centre from which all healing begins. As part of any healing journey, connecting with who you really are will bring you a whole host of positive things…. 1. Be more aware of your beliefs and prejudices and how they impact your decisions 2. Recognise your triggers for negative behaviours and become better at avoiding them 3. Understand the way you interact with others and get better at tuning into your relationships 4. Embrace your fears, emotions and dreams, accept who you are, the good and the bad, and be happier in yourself
The academic bit… “There is no cure and no improving of the world that does not begin with the self” Carl Jung. Self-awareness is distinguished from simply possessing conscious awareness through the ability to reflect and evaluate in order to understand your strengths and weaknesses, but more importantly, how others perceive them. It’s one of the key facets we humans have that places us at the top of the food chain. Emotional intelligence is perhaps the important aspect of self-awareness, and the work of Daniel Goleman is the most prominent in the field. Emotional intelligence is defined by Goleman as: “An ability to motivate oneself and persist in the face of frustrations; to control impulses and delay gratifications; to regulate one’s moods and keep distress from swamping the ability to think; to empathize and to hope”. I LOVE this description. What a perfect world we’d live in if we all managed to do this every day! Goleman’s definition highlights the challenge of mastering ‘self-regulation’. It’s not easy and I doubt any of us are perfect at it. His extensive research makes the important link between personal satisfaction and wellbeing, and the four dimensions of emotional intelligence:
1. Self-awareness 2. Self-management 3. Social awareness 4. Relationship management= a much happier outlook on life! All the emotional intelligence literature points to these four dimensions as the basis for high greater fulfilment in our personal and professional lives.
“He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened” Lao Tzu. What prevents good self-awareness? One of the chief barriers is the ego. The ego is the self-image we carry around with us….it’s a tricky little thing that fights to defend itself against anything that challenges its existence! On the other hand it does serve a purpose in that it drives our survival instinct, but for the large part it is unfortunately diametrically opposed to self-awareness because being self-aware challenges, provokes, and sometimes even shatters the mask of the ego. So what can you do to build your self-awareness? 1. Ask close colleagues to describe what it’s like to work with you 2. Get your friends/family/colleagues to point out your blind spots 3. Write down your strengths and weaknesses and get others to validate 4. From a professional perspective, think about what you’re most proud of and why 5. At the end of each day, take 5mins to ask yourself: did I bring my ‘best self’ to my endeavours today? What went well and what didn’t? How did I feel and why? 6. Write down what’s most important to you 7. Write down some personal ‘rules’ for yourself, thinking about the things you want more of & less of in your life 8. Practice meditation & mindfulness ✨🙏✨ The world we inhabit forces us to take on many different ‘roles’ and personas in order to survive, and some of them can be highly ego-inducing, driving us further and further away from our true selves. We are bombarded with commercially-driven marketing about who we should be in order to find fulfilment and what we need to look like in order to be happy. It’s easy to lose yourself at times!
How shamanic healing can help Through the process of shamanic healing and journeying, you can strengthen the connection to higher-self, which exists in all of us. Your higher-self is the part of you that exists beyond your physical body and is directly connected to Spirit, or the divine oneness from which everything was born. It is separate from the lower-self, which is where the ego lies, and it serves as your guide back to love and harmony. When we tune into the higher-self we can be open to receiving knowledge and wisdom to help us on our journey here in Earth school. It also teaches us how to be present and listen to all the parts of ourselves. We mostly have very little control over what comes our way in life, but we almost always have the ability to choose how we respond to things. Self-awareness is a powerful gift. It takes courage at times and a little practice, but once you start to work with it, you’ll begin to create incredible benefits for your own sense of happiness, as well as those closest to you.
“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom” Aristotle.
Love & light to you x
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